I met with Dr. P today and found out a few disturbing things.
One is that yes, he knew I should be moving on to a stronger medicine, but because I tend to get scared and stressed during the procedures, he didn’t think I could handle moving on to shots. I want to scream at him!
Instead, I force myself to stay calm and I explain to him that the more time that passes, the less nervous I am during procedures.
He seems skeptical, but I continue talking calmly, stating that while I may seem nervous, that is just my style of coping—and that the moment I leave the clinic, I feel completely calm and back to normal (which is true. I expulse everything and then I’m over it. It could be called being Italian, but I don’t say that because it may sound weird.) He agrees to do the lapascropy and will schedule it soon. After that is done, depending on the outcome of the surgery, we will move on to shots. I am now waiting for a surgery date.